"Up Close & Personal"
One of the most powerful assets I had in fighting with and for my daughter’s life was a rapid learning curve in seeing that anorexia and my daughter were very separate entities, and that anorexia was also extremely manipulative and willing to exploit our love for our daughter in order to carry out its deadly mission. In my experience, loving parents worry deeply about causing their children distress, so it helps to really understand the research and principles behind the loving, validating insistence that is my “Full Metal Apron” coaching style. This poem and these words from my daughters are a window into our both our fight and our success.
Fear & Fury"
This is my reflection from the darkest days of our fight and mark the space where I hit my stride in fighting the eating disorder monster; when I understood this was a war that could only be won by winning the individual battles. Learning to absorb the vitriol that formed the “steam release” from the pressure cooker that was my daughter’s malnourished brain and radiate back loving validation and insistence on full nutrition, was possible because of specific skills and strategies and peer support and I want to ensure everyone has access to the same. This hard and it is not impossible.
Family Life Through
Our oldest daughter was in graduate school for pharmacy when anorexia struck and along with her brothers, she made the effort to learn what this was all about and serve as a strong support for Kinsey and for us. In 2013, an important step in our family’s recovery journey was when we took a 10-day trip to celebrate her oldest brother’s college graduation in Colorado and Brittany’s pharmacy school graduation and wedding in Chicago. This is what Brittany learned about our family from our fight.
An Open Letter
My daughter recognizes her luck in having had access to excellent care that included training for her parents and family in fighting for and then with her to save her life. These are some of her writings on this topic and she enjoys speaking alongside me to parent groups on how parent involved treatment is not only life saving, but a family can actually come out even stronger and closer with the right guidance.